Mayberry was more exciting than this.

     I didn't come here thinking my job would be glamorous.  You don't come out to Mayberry and expect The Wire.  This town is something else, though.  It's not just quiet: it's stagnant.  There's crime, of course.  The odd drunken fight, maybe some domestic violence.  There was that time old Bill decided to dress up like  Spiderman and pepperspray the mailman in the face.

     I don't know.  You see the news.  There's untold horrors out there, everywhere.  Every town has its ugliness.  I know this town does too.  I can smell it, like the ozone stink before a thunderstorm.  I don't know if it's something that happened before I got here.  It could be something going on now.  My instincts tell me that something's waiting to just break loose.

    That's not the sort of thing you mention to the guys.  You don't want them questioning your mental stability.  Especially when you're new.  My partner Buck is pretty young himself.  He's lived in this town his whole life, though.  I think I make him nervous.  When you're small town, I guess you get used to the same faces, the same attitudes.  I'm an unknown element.

    So for now, I play it cool.  We go on patrol, we get slushies from the Keiser and we chat.  Sometimes we play a few hands of poker if it's really slow.  It's always really slow.

    The only other thing that worries me is Britney.  I don't know that she likes it here much.  I figure most of that has to do with staying home with the baby.  I wouldn't have thrown a fuss if she worked, but going on tour with her little band?  What kind of life would Paul have with his mother gone for months at a time and his  dad not around much more himself?

    Britney agreed with me about all of this in the beginning.  She seems worn now, though.  Sometimes she spaces out on me when we're talking.  I'll have to do something nice for her soon.  Maybe I'll bring her out to dinner somewhere nice, and get her something sparkly.  Women are into that sort of thing.